Don't know who said them....but I've no doubt they could've been said! This came from an Arcamax daily funny. They received it from a reader and therefore were unable to verify if these were really said....out loud....by the "SMART" people running OUR country!!!
C~B~N is LOL
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"I resent your insinuendoes." {New word! Insinuate + inuendos = insinuendoes!}
"If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same." {Oxymoron = elected to office!}
"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate." -- Dan Quayle {I REALLY wish he'd become a Democrat...If YOU don't know what Congress is made of....YOU need to vote Democrat too!}
"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave." {But if alive, why would he be in a grave? Oh, never mind....}
"We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report." {Let us bow our heads and have another "DUH" moment!}
"Candidly, I cannot answer that. The question is too suppository."
"Let's jump off that bridge when we come to it." {Ouch--see the next one!}
"People planning on getting into serious accidents should have their seat belts on." {Too bad more people don't plan their accidents better....}
"To be demeanered like that is an exercise in fertility." {Wow, a "two-fer"!!}
"I deny the allegations, and I defy the allegators." {Wonder if this was verbalized, if they had the good grace to either blush or laugh at their own stupidity?}
"If somebody's gonna stab me in the back, I want to be there." {Umm, think YOU will be....}
"When you're talking to me, keep your mouth shut." {So much for Freedom of Speech!}
"Let's do this in one foul swoop."
"I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves in this session."
"We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger." {C~B~N has only ever saluted the FLAG....seems more dignified somehow!}
"The average age of a 7 year old in this state is 13." {Umm, maybe this is WHY they can't get the budget to balance....}
"I hate to confuse myself with the facts." {Too classic!}
"We have a permanent plan for the time being."
"Family planning has many misconceptions."
"The people in my district do not want this highway bypass, no matter if it goes through or around the city."
"My knowledge is no match for his ignorance." {You need MORE knowledge then!}
"As long as I am in the Senate, there will not be a nuclear suppository in our state." {That's good, because a nuclear suppository would really hurt that big ole as~!}
"These numbers are not my own; they are from someone who knows what he's talking about." {Wish I could show you rolling eyes....well,
close enough! }
"In 1994, Americans stand on the horns of an enema."
"I would like to take this time to re-irritate my remarks." {Let C~B~N reiterate: They are ALL starting to IRRITATE this retired educator! Ignorance can be overcome; Stupidity is for LIFE.}
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