Politics as Usual

Politics Explained as Cows

SOCIALISM
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to
your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have two cows. The government takes them
both and provides you with milk.

FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes them
and sells you the milk.

BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk,
and then pours it down the drain.

CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

CORPORATE
You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to
produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised
when it drops dead.

DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. The government taxes you to
the point that you must sell them both in order to pay
the taxes to support a man in a foreign country who
has only one cow which was a gift from your government.

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Illegal Immigration Solution

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing
that our government can track a cow born in Canada
almost three years ago, right to the stall where she
sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked
her calves to their stalls.

But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens
wandering around our country. Maybe we should give
them all a cow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Best Patients

Five surgeons are discussing who makes
the best patients on the operating table.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants
on my operating table, because when you open
them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think
librarians are the best; everything inside them
is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know,
I like construction workers...those guys always
understand when you have a few parts left over
at the end, and when the job takes longer than
you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he
observed: "You're all wrong.

Politicians are the easiest to operate on.
There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and
the head and butt are interchangeable."

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